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Sunday, May 16, 2010

June--The Grind

............stroll
.......peaceful, quiet
persistently, relaxed, smoothly
slopes, steps, rocks, obstacles
.heavily, lagged, monotonously
........slow, endless
.............hike

This is a diamante poem I wrote about the Grouse Grind. Every summer, as part of my aerobic training regimen, I walk up Grouse Mountain. Essentially, it is a 3 kilometer-long staircase with an elevation gain of about one kilometer. The first half of this trail is a nice stroll, but between the three-quarter mark and the end, the hike seems to last forever. In lines 3 and 5 when using participles, I alternated -ly and -ed endings to add tension to the poem. The periods in front of lines 1,2,5,6,7 are used to show the unique diamond shape of the diamante poem.

3 comments:

  1. Great poem! I like the clear contrast between the beginning and end of the poem. It shifts from a consistent feel of tranquility to a sense of difficulty. I liked the use of alliteration as well as consonance of the "s" sound in line 3. Great job!

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  2. I like this poem. It encapsulates a hike perfectly, and describes the monotony as well as the feeling of hiking. I like how you added in elements of nature that show what the hike is like and I agree with Larry in that your use of alliteration was effective such as "smoothy, slopes, steps". Great job!

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  3. I like how "stroll" and "hike" are made polar opposites through the descriptions between them. The mood is set well. Reading the last few lines nearly makes the reader slow and gagging for breath.

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